05 June 2007

MOTORMOUTH IV

'FEAR.....'

"What you are about to read are not-affiliated to any car dealers and its industries ~ the writer interests ranging from sneakers to watches, collectors’ toys to DJs, classic cars to the fuel-smells from their carburetors. The writer speaks only for his bitter self”


I’ve heard many people and even some specific newspaper journalist has been complaining about ‘ole’ cars on the road. Saying they are a nuisance and dangerous to other road users, pollutes the air, always breaks down by the side of the road, electrically failures and always without either one front or rear lights.

Well, what are you based on to report/write/make such a statement/news/write-up?

By the 30inches diameter nostril holes that’s stuck in the middle of your face?

ya ya.. I smell exhaust fumes, that must be the pollutions from these ole’ cars.

Are you worried that the wheels of these ole’ cars will fly off and hit one of your euro/square-boxes vehicle on the road?

Let me put it this way:

How many accidents that happened on Brunei road involved a 0le’ beloved classic car? You tell me?

[I put down the word ‘beloved’ because these owner treasures their classics]

1 out of 30, maybe?

Wanna know why?

We spent so much of restoring, maintaining, improving and the last thing we wanna do is to thrash it. We rather do the enjoying bit.

What we have is something you all don’t have and that’s what we called the ‘super sonic speedometer indicator’.

On most classic cars, the speedometer isn’t accurate and they tend to jump/wobbles between 0 and 30, so therefore, we have to judge the speed we are going by our own super sonic speedometer. And I tell you that it’s better than the conventional and the LCD ones that you have in those Boxes that you are driving now.

We have to make hundred of judgments every single second, like, to slow down on rainy days and slippery roads and when on the empty and dry roads, we increased our speed slightly.

But the roar of the engine revving, the wobbling of the side mirrors and the sound of the air seeping into our cabin through the door seals sent signals to our inner super sonic speedometer indicator and telling us that we are going too fast and we have to slow down to enjoy the drive again.

Noise is a contributing factor to our super sonic speedometer indicator and risk.

But modern cars …., modern cars make almost no noise at all. Its so silence, so comfortable, air-tight and fully functional air-conditioning, heated seat to heat up your hairy-arse, tilted and moveable steering wheels for the midgets,

Bong & Ah-Lok sons sound system comes as a standard, thousands of cup holder for your cocacola, millions of compartment for your CdS, laptop, luggage, shoes, clothing and they probably have an ironing board hidden somewhere and a 12volts converter for your iron too.

Its soooo silence, sooo comfortable, soooo air-tight and they don’t even know how fast they are going actually. The LCD speedo in the dash is only a number/digit to them. Their heated arses are telling them that it’s Perfectly Safe at these break neck speed. “Its so comfy in here, 200km/h…? I don’t felt it at all”

So, don’t wipe off all the classic cars and their owners or treat them like a plague or a disease. They probably spend more time maintaining, improving and are very careful with their ride.

Furthermore, the ratio speaks for itself. The accidents here involved more percentage of the newer boxes.

And again, who wanna trash their classic rides,

Joe and Jane next door doesn’t have one and they can’t just walk in a showroom and throw down some cash to own one!

HEH!


cruising tracks for the week:

Lynyrd Skynyrd ~ Freebird
John 'Cougar' Mellencamp ~ Jack & Diane
Good Day Sunshine ~ Tube