31 March 2007

Carburetor Dung IV




~ What are ‘THESE’ for ~

“What you are about to read are not-affiliated to any car dealers and its industries ~ the writer interests ranging from sneakers to watches, collectors’ toys to DJs, classic cars to the fuel-smells from their carburetors. The writer speaks only for his bitter self”

Boys & girls, have you ever wondered that the car-designers and manufacturers are wasting their brain-juices, time and energy to design vehicles and its devices? All of the vehicle’s functions have their own purposes [But I still don’t agree of ECU’s and air-flow-meters on board].. Anyway, today I am not going to touch that issue ……………………….yet.

As mentioned, all these functions have their own purposes. But when these vehicles reached Brunei shore, the whole damn thing serves A different purpose!

  • The Indicator/Signals

This has no usage for its driver who is driving on Brunei road. They don’t put on the indicators at all when they are making a turn to the left or the right. When they felt like turning or making an entry to a junction. They just slammed the brakes and turn immediately. So, this indicator serves no purpose. For the record, one item delete from the car here.
[By the way, if there is a day when someone bring down a hammer and bashed up all your car indicators, please don’t blame him. You don’t need them anyway...]

  • The Door Windows

These also need to be taken off from the vehicle in Brunei. [Item Two]. They don’t need these; they fix on HUGE window visors that can eventually cover the driver’s head!
And without windows, it’s more convenient for them to put out their whole Fuckin’ arm and look cool while flickin’ their cigarettes ashes away!! And not forgetting the convenience for some parents who let their children to stick-out their heads from the vehicle and be superheroes on the road.

  • The Horn

This is a very straight-forward explanation and has only a few main functions.

- ‘Honk’ to greet/say hello to your friends whom you meet on Brunei road.

- ‘Honk’ to order Thien-Thien chicken rice.

Parked at front, ‘HONK’ and show 2 fingers. Yeap.., that’s 2 packet of Thien Thien chix rice.

  • The Front Car Seats

These units are for the driver to make adjustment to far-far-far backwards and lean far-far-far back till only their finger tip is touching the steering-wheel!!
These seats [item Three] also need to be deleted from the vehicle.
Put a bed in instead!!

  • The Rear Seats

Same-same here [item Four]. All these will be removed to install Ply-wood, Fiberglass, Coil, Cables, Steel and Magnets. What are those you asked? I am not so sure myself. I guessed when you hook up all of these items; it will create BIG-Fuck-LOUD sound for the hearing-impaired driver. Probably this method is cheaper than to buy a hearing-aid device.

  • The Vehicle’s Body

This main structure of the vehicle also can be deleted from the vehicle [Item Five].

Don’t need them anyway, these self-taught-engineers like to change and re-design themselves. From proton changed to Mitsu, from Hyundai to Honda, from Daewoo to Toyota, from Nissan SX to Ferrari and Tata to Hummer. So why need a vehicle body?

  • The Wheels

This 4 round shapes thingy at every corner of the vehicle can also be taken out [Item Six].
Oh… probably they need them to move from the factories to the port. And when reach Brunei shores, need them to ‘climb’ up the trailer and then to the dealer’s showroom.
Once the vehicle has been purchased, these 4 round shapes thingy are no good anymore. Its gonna go to bin in favour of the new BIG-CHROME-24incher with super-super low profile tires.

“Hey, look at my atos with the new 24incher”

Ya ya…… Danny DeVito wearing Shaq O’Neal shoes.

In the coming future, new vehicle that landed here will only have the chassis, engine, gearbox, axle and all its running gear. That’s all.

~DON’T NEED OTHERS anyway !!~

2 comments:

Margaret said...

I've realised the diff. With normal IE, I can now see all your posts in the same page. With Firefox, I can only see your first post. I will check again tonight and confirm the diff.

Carburetorman said...

probably the setting on the firefox need to be 'fiddle' with..